A Public Service Announcement About Public Service Announcements

Living in a world full of advertisement, you would hope America would advertise common sense and practical logic. Unfortunately, there is no money involved in this advertisement.

But as a writer of an extremely popular blog (haha), I realized I can adress this issue.

Yes, I'm referring to "Public Service Announcements."

You know those times you have nothing better to do during a commercial break, and you actually watch the commercials, you might come across a "Public Service Announcement."

They usually leave you with messages such as: "Don't drink and drive," or "Talk to your kid about sex."

But there are far more issues out there that must be adressed! I, Jake, am at your service to publicly announce these issues.

This is your first Public Service Announcement on the blog, and the issue today is "Public Service Announcements."

Don't blow them off. They're here to help!

Mini Cooper and Burgers

I have part of an essay to write, so I'm just doing two quickies today.

First up, ads.
This one was from a bus stop in Barcelona. The image is supposed to be Elvis Presley as an old man.

ELVIS LIVES
The new Mini Cooper is finally diesel.
Now all the incredulous (non-believers) will believe.

I thought that one was pretty funny when I saw it on the street. It's supposed to be likening the Mini Cooper in diesel to "Elvis lives!" or "when pigs fly." It's pretty witty if you get it.

Another ad, this time from Paris:


I'm not sure I get this one. It's supposed to be Colonel Sanders wearing a McDonalds hat and with buck teeth. Could someone explain this to me?

Speaking of McDonalds:

The McDonalds in Barcelona makes tiny cheeseburgers.



I know. I know. Lame!

I'll get more pictures from my phone soon. I know you're all tired of Europe by now.

It's just that my computer doesn't connect to my phone, so in order to upload my pictures, I have to use someone else's computer. That's not happening for a while, but hopefully it's a short while because I need fresh pictures.

So I'm off to write me up an essay. Later, ducks.

One More Thing to be Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving!

-Chasingducks

Blatant machismo must be back in style.

Look at this! Seriously, just look at it.


That's right. It's a Hummer stretch limousine.

What the fuck, people? Come on!

Limousines are supposed to be classy.


Who ever heard of an extreme, off-road limousine?


I can just see some wanna-be gangsta dude riding around in this thing, blasting Fifty Cent, Tupac and Kanye West simultaneously.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love rap, just not gangsta rap. I prefer rap that uses words, and references something other than money, honeys and twenties, but that's another story for another time. Expect to see a video on this subject.

I can also see some dude who's taking steroids, has trapezius muscles bigger than his head, a buzz cut and a penis the size of a thimble riding around in this, screaming "YEAH, FUCK YOU ALL! YEAAAAAAH!" out the windows.



People that would ride in this limousine should be taxed more than everyone else, just so that they can't afford to ride in a limousine.

Bitter Rivalry

When my Xbox broke, Customer support insisted I send it to them so that they could crap it up with some new hardware "upgrade". I begrudgingly took my Xbox down to UPS to mail it to the repair centre.


As I walked out, I saw this FedEx truck parked outside, no driver.


Something's a little off here.


Fearing a car-bomb attack, I high-tailed it out of there.

(For those who don't get it, the humour is in the FedEx truck parked suspiciously outside of their competitor's store. "Special delivery!" *boom*)

Anyway, two months later, my Xbox came back, and now it makes a crapton of noise and freezes every fifteen minutes. Gee, thanks, Microsoft!

Fetus Time!

Despite my extreme republicanism,
I'm pretty sure if you were pro-life, you just went pro-choice.
Sorry guys.

¡La Voz de la Gente! (The Voice of the People!)

While standing in line to see the David, a big-ass sculpture of a naked guy, I saw lots of things written on the walls.

One guy wrote a list:

April 4
-It's raining
-I'm bored
-Jon is... crack

Slightly more insightful:

Greater than the love for liberty is the hate for those who take it from us.

Someone tagged this wall on behalf of Jake:

Jake the "mutha fucka", apparently.

And someone called me a "malaga":

From what I can intuitively guess, malaga is a term for a person who isn't well-liked.

I decided to leave my mark near the entrance to the David exhibit:


Then I saw this:

This one's clear enough to read.


"-you could be in Amsterdam by now + see lots of naked people"

So in lieu of seeing the unreasonably tall statue with the unreasonably small penis up close, I opted to take a picture of a postcard instead,

and spend my time on a more worthwhile endeavour,


Like taking a picture of this "ENEL" logo.
(Said in any European accent, it comes out sounding like "anal".)

Satan is at it Again

Satan was recently arrested and charged for vandalism of school property:

As they took him off I got a quick picture of him.


America: We can not let evil people like this man get away with such profane crimes. Please make sure this man is locked behind bars where he belongs.

Thank you.

Beauchemin

Meet Kevin Beauchemin: Future Global Emperor.



We're the Drum Majors of the Mighty Ro-hawk Marching Band.



South Texas Area Champions. 8th best band in the state.

But enough bragging: Kevin's already got too many fans.

Err...stalkers.


We recently were saddened to discover we have a nick-name among the band people:




Mario and Luigi.



Super Drum Major Bros.:

When the Color Guard Princesses are kidnapped by the evil Director, it's up to the Drum Major Bros. to bring them back in time for the State Marching Band Competition.

Special Powers: Super Conducting and Super Marching.

Special Weapons: Super Whistle and Super Mace

Wow. I'm getting that game.

Tough Guy

For Every Democratic Halo Nerd

We all know John Edwards doesn't have a shot at being Master-in-Chief.

But if the "in" is dropped...he might have a chance!


America, it is up to us to put this man in the place we need him: Master Chief.

This election, vote Edwards and you won't be disappointed.

...and edwards is running for Master Chief? I find this awesome in the
nerdiest way possible.

-PD

Spray Butter

It seems to be fashionable to call oneself OCD nowadays, but I really think I am. It was worse when I was younger, much worse, but now it only flares up when I do things like butter bread.

(mumbling) "Stupid butter clumping up on my bread. Got to get it into that little corner."

I used to always think I was doomed to wander aimlessly, trying to spread butter evenly for eternity.


But then, something caught my eye.

No, it couldn't be. Could it? Could it ever be so?
I think it could! Oh, praise the heavens, it's:

SPRAY BUTTER

Finally, I can coat my bread in a perfectly even, balanced film of butter, leaving no clumps or lumps.

Now if they could just make spray peanut butter and spray jelly, all would be right with the world.

And for those who like pictures of kittens licking melted cheese:

A picture of a kitten licking melted cheese.

There are only three more days left to vote in our latest poll. Choose wisely.

PD out.

The Jesus Post

Previous to this the Pharisees had teased Judas of being gay.

*****

Ever wonder why Jesus is always depicted as a white man with well cut hair and a perfect beard.

What about that freshly bleached robe? That is blasphemy!

Jesus was a Jew from the middle east. I would be reasonable to assume that He was not white. He also was constantly traveling with no suitcase. This meant no fresh white robes for every day or a hair-cut every week.

Jesus probably wore a dirty brown robe that had holes and stains all over it. Yes, it smelled like body odor also.

This is a more logical interpretation of Jesus' appearance.

Is there a rule about photoshopping the same picture twice in a week?

'

I hope not...cause this is awesome.

'

I threw in a few disciples to add to the Jesusness. Yes...I'm that one with the sinfully wicked hair cut! Tyler has a chinstrap beard. And JP actually had a beard in that picture. Can you tell? I hope so.

'

No, PD is not Jesus. But he is of Arab descent and probably looks a lot more like Jesus than that guy in the previous picture with the white robe and face.

'

Until next time, I hope whenever you pray you don't envision PD. I apologize if I have left that scar.

Graffiti