Reserved for Whom, Exactly?

We've all seen these. Damned cripples always get the good parking.


So they apparently devised a new scheme to have handicapped parking spaces as required by law, but still keep cripples out of them: Hide the sign so close to the ground that any person in a big-ass handicapped-equipped van can't see it.

It seems the cripples have outsmarted us once again, as you can clearly see a cripple van parked in the space.


Maybe this space is reserved for people driving tiny cars, like the man on the sign, in his small round car. It's like an ultra-compact spot.

Where There's Smoke...

During school today I saw this huge plume of smoke in the distance. "Oh well," I thought. "It's probably nothing."


But an hour later the smoke was thicker. Somebody's house probably burned down. I don't know. Somebody said they thought it looked like jet fuel burning, and since this is a school where everyone's parents are in the air force, I bet he knows.

My Room

I just thought I'd hone my panorama-shooting skills.

Panorama Cam

My new phone has a feature that lets me take three pictures and combine them into one big panorama. I'm going to try this out.


This was my first try. I had trouble lining up the lamp on the second shot. I think I also cut my cat's ass in half.


This is some really skinny, evil skeleton child and her weird 8th grader friend. The person walking to the right walked into my third picture.


This is my best work so far. It's the courtyard at school. I'm going to start doing more of these, mostly to give a feel for where my adventures take place.

Saffron

My cat, Saffron, is a crazy one.


He stretches out to over a meter. I used a foot ruler for reference.


He knows he's cool.

New Phone and Spilt Milk

My new phone has an mp3 player and a radio, as well as internet capability and other goodies, but I still haven't quite figured out the camera.

In my english class, the teacher has a row of books along the wall. They're quite interesting reads.


As is clearly stated here, that which looks like spilt milk may not be spilt milk.


I'm not even going to go there.

Texas Winter?

For those of you unfamiliar with the intricacies of the United States' climatic geography, allow me to preface this post with a graphic explanation of said intricacies.


This is the US on most days.




This is the US today.

In San Antonio, it rarely gets below pavement-egg-frying temperature. I've really never seen anything like this since I moved here.


There are real icicles hanging from the truck. This was shocking to me.


Ice chipped off of it.


This is my frozen mailbox. I couldn't take a picture of it afterward, but in order to get it open, I had to give it a sound kick, at which it became detached from the pole and hung limp. I got my mail out of it, though.


More ICICLE MADNESS!

In an hour or two, I'm going with a friend down to the local park to slide down the biggest icy hill in the town on a skateboard with no wheels.

PE Exam

The title doesn't lie. I had an exam in my gym class. It was also the last day I'd see my PE textbook.

Any Body Can...be fit! No. Some people are just fat lards that will never be fit.


The stretch diagrams are tremendous fun. Let's start with the hang-glider:


The mutated-short-leg


Dead-man:


Stretching rack:


I'm so emo I'm going to rip my head off:


Another Dead-person stretch:


We see here a student practicing the dead stretch:

But, as you can clearly see, she's doing it wrong.

I'll demonstrate the correct technique.

So Many Animals!

Check this shot out!

And these are just the cats in one shot!

That's five cats and a dog. Three cats are elsewhere.

Judy Dench Cat

A couple of days ago I saw this cat and thought, "Holy shit! That cat looks just like the old lady from James Bond.


I've gone to the trouble of finding a perfectly posed picture of the lady, apparently named "M". It's the first picture when you Google "M James Bond".


Allow me to illustrate the similarity.


Notice the glassy eyes with the minor crow's-feet in the corners?
The large forehead?
The mouth shape?
Nose?
Jaw?

Seriously, this cat looks exactly like Judy Dench. How cool is that?

Damn, My School Rocks!

This is Magical Dane.


Today, he got a banana for lunch.


Gee, I wonder what some high school kids would ever possibly do with a banana.

Nipple Shoes

This is my weird friend Steven.


He bought shoes that are covered by hundreds of little orange nipples.


Knowing Steven, that's probably why he bought them.

Beetle

I found this beetle parked in front of my school today.


Let me just say that I go to a very small school and I know that nobody who goes here has a beetle. It looks like someone had a good Christmas.

The Beef-Flake

This is sort of a continuation of School Food. Remember the nasty hamburgers? Today they started using real meat! They also made the bun thicker, but the burgers have a new by-product.

I give you:

Beef-Flake
(bēf’·flāk)

A by-product of the new school hamburgers, the Beef-Flake is as crunchy and putrid as it is ugly. Sources vary on whether the Beef-Flake constitutes meat or not, but its nutritional value is meagre nonetheless.

Dew

A couple of days ago, I pulled an all-nighter.


I was up at 7AM to see the sunrise and beheld real dew. I didn't know it really existed. I'd never been up early enough to tell. I must say that dew is pretty cool stuff.

What Kind of Sick Person?

I found this on an Indian person's blog.


My god! Who in their right mind wants those? That's like getting anthrax in the mail.

LiveJournal Is Uncool, Kids

I found a nugget of ugliness on the internet today. I was looking into competing blog services, so I checked out some LiveJournal pages. I'd heard unkind comments about LiveJournal users before, but I was nowhere near understanding how true they were (the comments, of course, not the users).

This really must be seen to be believed. Here's the link.

The following summarizes my opinion of this blog's author:

Define "Star"

While I was in California, my grandpa took me to the Griffith Observatory. It's up on a mountain and overlooks Los Angeles.


You're going to have to take my word for it that that is, in fact, Los Angeles. The view was splendid and, not only does this picture not do it justice, it brings it shame.


Anyway, the clever folks who redesigned the place less than a year ago realized how boring this 200-meter hallway is, so they added this strange serpentine jewelry mural. All of the pieces are representations of stars, moons, planets, and other celestial stuff.


I neglected to photograph all of the other strange pieces, but this caught my eye. Does this really qualify as a star? Yes, certainly it's a "'Star' of David", but it's recognized entirely for it's symbolic value rather than being an actual star.


There was also a Turkish flag. In case you are unfamiliar with it:


Again, the symbolic value overshadows the celestial nature of the image. It's not the best example, but there were other questionable pieces.

I know. Lame. I'll get some good stuff out here.