Football

This one is also more fun than funny.

Pleasure

Here's some more fortune cookie madness for you:



"A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't."


Quote of the Day

"Oh god! I didn't think you could do that! That was amazing!"
-that one chick

I'm back from Europe the day after tomorrow, my pretties. The agony of PD-loneliness will be over soon.

The Most Professional Picture I've Ever Taken

Ooh. You like?

Omaha Beach

This is more cool than funny.

Click on the picture to make it bigger, incase you haven't figured that out yet.

My Chicken

I don't beleive I've ever introduced my Chicken to this blog yet.


He's starred in at least four of my short films including "Not So Quiet on the Western Front" and "The Asian."



He undergoes all sorts of torture between me and my friends.




Yes, all sorts of torture.



But the best part is, when you squeeze him, he makes the most piercing, painful scream in the entire world.

He also came with a miniature which isn't near as amusing but is still just as fun.

Taco Factory

PD, Isaac and I went to Target for the heck of it the other day.

We purchased something quite amusing.

"Taco Factory"

It included peach taco shells, cherry meat, lemon cheese, watermelon lettuce and strawberry tomatoes, if that makes any sense.

Once we opened the box, we found that the bag was child proof.

Everything looked like normal gummi stuff except the cheese, which came in a large gooey ball.

Isaac almost ate it, but we insisted it be put on the tacos.

The three of us assembled our tacos and ate up!

We each stated our thoughts on the gummi tacos afterwards.

"It tastes a lot like paper." -PD

PD finished his taco but did not help himself to another.

"This is the most disgusting crap I've ever had!" -Isaac

Isaac took one bite from his and immediately stopped eating it.

"Delicious!" -Jake

After finishing my taco with great speed, I finished off Isaac's and ate all the leftovers.

In conclusion, I give the Taco Factory a thumbs up for delicious gummi goodness.

However, the other two guys wouldn't suggest it to you.

The Fellowship of the Jake

Unfortunately, I'm 6'3"

Which isn't exactly "Hobbit Size."

I would probably play a better Gaurd #372 in the battle of Helms Deep.

I'm Blue

Blue balls make me sad.


I will say no more about this.

The Blame Game

Often, we play the "Blame Game."

You know, when it's all your fault and yet you still desperately try to victimize yourself.

For example driving a car into the only tree on the side of a road and then getting angry at your wife for not sacrificing herself to get the precious groceries out from the trunk.

Another example could be me putting a comic in the scanner incorrectly, but I can blame it on the scanner.

Or I could blame all you readers for not leaving enough comments on these posts, when in truth it is...no wait...that is your fault...slut.

An Arrival

It has come. (Drum Roll Please)

After many "trying" times with my previous computor: (by "trying," I mean, "this computor sucks so much I would rather be attacked by evil moles than use it" times), I finally got it. The new computor.

And it's in...WIDESCREEN!


You can't imagine how happy I am!

See You Soon

Off to Drum-Major Camp!

And yes: Band is cool.

With PD in Europe and me gone to camp, the blog will be empty for a brief time,

but hang tight, faitful readers, we'll be up an running again on Wednesday or Thursday.

Adios!

PD v2.0

My neighbors, Angel and Serenity, just got a little Chihuahua puppy.

Guess what they named it.

I'll give you a hint:



No, seriously, they did.

I feel so honoured.

Anyway, big PD's going to Europe for two weeks, so Jake will post once or twice for me. Little PD, you've got to hold down the fort for me while I'm gone.

A Large Banana

Recently, San Antonio got a lot of rain.

I was wondering why I had to take a detour from a highway when I suddenly came across this:

The highway: underwater.

As I ventured along the deserted road and noticed something funny.

It seemed to be a very large banana caught up against a tree.

Suddenly two kayakers paddled into view on a mission to get the big banana.

Nature rejected them this oppurtunity however, and threw them down the river, past the banana, and perhaps: to a very gruesome death.

I thought of trying to get the large banana myself, but then I decided, unlike the two kayakers, that I didn't need a big banana. So I went home.

Perhaps one day the large banana will be returned to its original owner.

Rare Find or Innapropriate Girl?

The other day at PD's house, I found a pile of Ashley's clothes and two oranges on a counter

My first question was: What were Ashley's clothes doing at PD's house...?


My second was: Did Ashley purposely put the oranges there?






Knowing Ashley...probably.

I Can't Do No Plowing Without 'Er!

I'm back, sans vengeance, at least for a bit. I had to pull my pictures from my phone, through Jake's slow computer, and on to a CD before I could get to them on my old Computer.

Anyway, here's another crazy drawing.

"Well, Dag-gummit!
I done lost my hoe!"

Don't you just hate when that happens?


Quote of the Day

If at first you don't succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.
-Laurence J. Peter

The Lake Adventure

"How do I have lake fun?" might be a question you'll be asking this summer...

Just remember: L.A.K.E.

Look like a hero! Make everyone wish they were a Lake Hero like you!


Appitite is everything! Open your mouth and try to catch a grape in it like this...it was very difficult...


Killed people are everywhere in lakes! Find and keep their personal belongings.



Explore! Despite how dangerous or pointless it is: go do it, partner! w00t?


Well, be off young Lake Adventurers! And don't forget: L.A.K.E! Eh?

Ducks Chasing Us?

Chasingducks.com is a huge supporter of duck chasing.

However, I recently began to wonder, how would we feel if ducks chased us?

This weekend, my relatives were visiting and while visitng a park, a duck began to follow us around.

Everywhere.

This was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen!

Yes, that really is my uncle HOLDING A DUCK.

The lesson:

Perhaps chasing ducks is not the greatest idea...they just might chase back.